Mix equal parts chopped Onion, Carrot, and Celery in a saucepan and throw in a couple Tablespoons of Butter. Sprinkle with some Salt to help cook down the Onion, and stir every now and then over medium high heat for about 10 minutes.
Toss in a couple Tablespoons of Flour (or in my kitchen, not quite the little ¼ Tea Cup measuring implement), and stir well for about 3 minutes so that it doesn’t stick too badly and burn on the bottom of your pot. This will add the slightest body to the end result in your bowl, but it needs to cook a little while or it will turn your soup to a bowl of glue. Mmmm… paste 😀
When the buzzer goes off, throw about 4 Cups of your-choice-of-stock (in this case, leftover half container of Chicken Stock and water), and stir occasionally until it has a goodly simmer over mediumish heat.
Best part, when you’ve got some decent heat in the pot, throw in that handful of forgotten pantry-pasta! Yes, it’s finally time to stop humouring yourself into thinking that little bit of Bowtie hidden in behind the copious Jell-os and wait.. How many bags of Marshmellows do we have?!.. is a full useable portion, and make some use out of it before the fiancé/boy-girlfriend/significant other/partner/roommate/casual acquaintance/ landlord who mixed up his keys once again and thought your apartment was his (true story…on multiple occasions) throws it out in favour of more Jell-o. Let it cook reeeeeal nice.
How’s that for a run-on paragraph? Did I mention one of the most important parts of Procrastinator Soup is a heaping helping of both Hyperbole and Nonsensical Babble? Calling it Bullshit only places a foul taste in the pot.
To serve; ladle non-observantly large portions in your favourite, handmade-on-a-date-night bowls, and disperse with the smilingest attitude to the one who has been pressuring you to get started on that thing you were supposed to do (easily substitutable, switch my ‘schoolwork’ with your ‘cleaning the gutters’, ‘spending time with your inlaws’, or ‘taking fluffy out for a piddle’.
Any and all snarky comments regarding how you will “get to it at suchandsuch made up time” and “you wasted all of my useable morning by dragging me to your doctor’s appointment” usually don’t go over well at this point. Save it until after the spoon clanks in the bowl and forgetfulness far outweighs hunger.